Season’s Greetings!

Merry Christmas to all you gullible, superstitious, dead-Jew-on-a-stick-ians!

And happy solstice to all you dour, humorless, mechanistic deity deniers!

This year, I think we can all agree to remember what the Christmas season is really about: Executing a daring and risky surprise attack against some cocky Hessians and blowing them the hell away, resulting in a massive propaganda victory, thus setting the stage for the defeat of a major superpower by a motley crew of philosopher nerds and gun nuts, resulting in the longest-lasting legitimate representational government in human history.

Thanks, George! It’s just what I always wanted! I hope you like the monuments and the dollar bill.