Knowing more than a few people who enjoy eating but are too busy or intimidated to cook themselves, I thought I’d type up a couple of my favorite stupid easy recipes. Today, I urge you to shun the dessicated under a heat lamp Walmart rotisserie chicken and roast your own damn chicken.
Here’s what you need:
- One fresh whole bird
- Olive oil
- Good sized onion
- Spices: Salt, pepper, garlic powder, (optional: granulated onion and rosemary)
- Aluminum baking sheet (a rack is nice, but not required)
First, take your chicken:
Remove from plastic, and be careful to not nick the skin or fat layer when you’re cutting the plastic off. I did this (shut up, I was drinking). Set it on the pan.
See all this junk inside the carcass?
Throw it out.
Take your onion and peel it, then cut into eights. Then stuff that sucker up in there:
You could also put in a lemon or something similar if you had one on hand.
Those spices? Put ‘em in a bowl:
The exact amounts and proportions aren’t critical, but I generally go with 2:1:1:1 salt:pepper:garlic powder:granulated onion. Don’t put in the rosemary yet.
Mix in some olive oil:
Again, the exact amount isn’t important, but you can’t have too much.
Then, take your mixture and anoint yon bird:
Cover evenly. You can use a brush or something if you’re all fancy like.
Then throw some rosemary up on there:
You’re done! Throw in the oven for 60-90 minutes at 350F. Ovens lie, so you’ll have to keep an eye on your first one. You want the skin golden brown and the internals to about 160-170F.
It’ll look like this:
For best results, let it stand for 10 minutes or so before carving. For sides, you can toss some diced potatoes and onions in the same spice and olive oil mixture you used on the chicken and roast on the same pan for about 45-60 minutes. It goes well with a salad or some steamed veggies if you’re super lazy. I like a sweet white wine with this like a Moscato.
Look at that. LOOK! Are you not hungry? The meat cooks up tender and super juicy, and the skin is like chicken candy bacon. If I didn’t have to feed 3 other humans off this, I could stand there and eat the whole thing from the pan.
Life’s too short to eat crappy food. Get out of Applebee’s and cook yourself something awesome.