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“My fellow Americans, I have some remarks for today, I will be brief.

“Recently, I was nominated for, and by popular vote, won, the Nobel Peace Prize. I know, I’m as surprised as you!” *pause for laughter*

“I am humbled and honored to be considered for this award. I have great respect for the work of the Nobel committee and it is a great privilege to be the company of the previous winners.

“However, I must decline.

“First, we’ve only started!” *pause for laughter* “Give us a few more years!” *more laughter* “My colleagues across the aisle willing, you ain’t seen nothing yet!” *applause*

“Secondly, the Nobel Peace Prize should not be about heads of state or the rich or the powerful. It should recognize activists the world over who oppose tyranny, who toil in danger and obscurity, against impossible odds, reaching towards the torch of liberty.

“Because freedom is not a historical accident, nor an entitlement of a few nations. It is the gift of a few, bestowed upon many. It is not granted, but it is won. It is won by the pain, blood, struggle and sacrifice of brave patriots like Neda, in Iran, cut down by a despot for the crime of speaking against him. It is won by the selfless military of Honduras, who committed the sin of a coup to prevent the greater sin of a tyrant voting himself into lifelong office. It is won by the impossibly optimistic people of Taiwan and South Korea, who continue to build their shining cities under the hateful gaze of Communist guns and missiles.

“America has treated liberty loving dissidents poorly in the past. We were not there when you needed us.” *shameful head hang* “But this will not happen again on my watch. To those who continue to resist in the name of freedom, I say, America has your back!” *pause for cheers* “To those who attempt to crush them, I say, your days are numbered! For we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.

“It is not in America’s character, in our DNA, to appease tyrants. It is in our character to end them. Thank you, and may God continue to bless America.”